Not a Child‘s Secret

Parents do not talk about HIV because they not only fear stigma but also experience it

01
Children with HIV lack information and often find out they are living with the virus on their own

02
Children with HIV have no place where they can be themselves and not be ashamed of their HIV status

03

We will share stories of courage and resilience, offering examples of how young heroes learned to live with their diagnosis, accepted themselves, and opened up to the world. We will show how their families, friends, and communities reacted. We will reveal the challenges these young people face and how they pursue their dreams and goals despite everything.

I don’t know where I got HIV from.
I really don't know. It was so disgusting when the doctor yelled: "Enough! Tell me with whom and what you did!" That "Enough!" still rings in my head.

I always dreamed of being a doctor. And I will.

Despite HIV.

Pasha, 19 y.o.
Novosibirsk

When meting someone, I extend my hand and say: "Hi, my name is Kristina, I have HIV.»

Kristina, 19 y.o.
Ekaterinburg

I want others not to be afraid to talk about violence. I don't want them to endure as much as I did.

Agata, 16 y.o.
Kazan

After I found out about HIV, my life didn't change at all. I still have the same plans.
But my mother and I live with ‘closed faces’.

Makar, 14 y.o.
Novosibirsk

When my friends come over, I hide the pills…
In the real world, I have to keep things hidden. I can only talk freely about HIV at the camp meeting.

Olesya, 18 y.o.
Dmitrovograd, Ulyanovsk Region

I'm not really worried about my HIV, I'm more worried about the loss of my parents it took away.

Alisa, 19 y.o.
St. Petersburg

Before he died, my dad said: 'I don't want to see my child die.'
He didn’t know that things could be different.

Dmytry, 19 y.o.
Ulyanovsk

Sometimes I want to become a ghost and walk through walls hiding from everything.
I’m generally shy, but there's an angry beast inside me.

Leonid, 17 y.o.
Kazan

I don't know what lies ahead of me. I'm afraid there... is nothing.

Alexandra, 17 y.o.
Omsk

When I found out about my diagnosis, I forbade anyone from pitying me.

You can show compassion, but not pity.

Pity kills.

Polina, 18 y.o.
Orsk, Orenburg Region

‘- If the pills make you feel sick, the mop is over there...’

Dmytry, 19 y.o.
Samara

HIV is my life, my story;
- it’s almost my strength.

Alexey, 20 y.o.
Tver

I want a family and children.
I want to be a young mother and give my children the love that I did not get.
I have so much love inside!

Stellita, 19 y.o.
Saratovskaya obl.

On the cloudiest day, the sun is behind the clouds. But sooner or later the wind will disperse them.

Lera, 19 y.o.
Samara

We were born this way, but our hands are tied. We don't know who will accept us and who will reject.

Anya, 18 y.o.
Sverdlovskaya obl.

Not all stories are bad. Take pills? Big deal! They're just pills. But telling my friends was a bit scary. I decided to do it outside, so that I could run away in case of something [happens]. But something didn’t happen. They reacted calmly.

Victoria, 17 y.o.
Tyumen

HIV is my journey. I'm with it forever.

Amina, 17 y.o.
Kazan

I don't like to share my feelings with adults – they do not understand. I live in my imaginary world because it's hard [to live in this one].

Anya, 12 y.o.
Chelyabinsk

Fear of rejection because of HIV becomes scarier than loneliness.

Valeria, 14 y.o.
Ulyanovsk

I am kind, people are attracted to me, especially kids. I want to live a normal life and not keep this secret about my illness.

Nastya, 14 y.o.
Ekaterinburg

HIV does not affect my life in any way. But I had to forget about my dream of becoming an investigator.
They told me at the AIDS-center that with my diagnosis, the Ministry of Internal Affairs would not employ me.

Marina, 19 y.o.
Kazan

When the school principal found out that I had HIV, I was transferred to home schooling.

Nataliya, 18 y.o.
Kazan

Meeting people who also have HIV touches my soul. I do not feel lonely.

Marina, 19 y.o.
Kazan

It's is so unfair that I have it! Why me?
Why not someone else?

Danila, 17 y.o.
Niznyi Novgorod

My mother did not believe that HIV drugs could help. She did not take them and did not give them to me.

Lyuba 14, y.o.
Republic Tatarstan

I am who I am. I don't want to be like anyone else.

Liza 14, y.o.
Mari El Republic

My own mother died of AIDS when I was 2 years old. She wasn't a drug addict, she got it from my dad.

My mom's parents betrayed her. They just kicked her out of the house when they found out about HIV.

With the time, I realized that it is more difficult to live with HIV than without it.

Lera 16, y.o.
Orenburg

My mom always said that I have a weak immune system. Finally, I’ve realized myself that I have HIV.

Karina 16, y.o.
Kazan

If you root it away, you won't stop the bleeding. And it's better to leave everything as it is again...

Kseniya 17, y.o.
Moscow oblast

HIV activism and creativity are two areas that I need to breathe today.

August, 19, y.o.
Chelyabinsk

Apart from me, there were several other children with HIV in the orphanage.
We were outcasts. We were particularly severely punished.

Vlada, 18, y.o.
Bashkortystan Republic

My dream is to go to a medical college after school and then learn how to be a massage therapist.

But first, I have to grow up to that.
I think the main thing in life is to achieve your goal.

Daniil, 17, y.o.
Krasnodarsky krai

People do not want to know anything about HIV. They do not want to look at people like us.
But we do not differ from them…

Zhenya, 17, y.o.
Uliyanovsk

HIV is just a grain of sand in a big ocean. It's not as scary as people think.

Elena, 19, y.o.
Ufa

I love reading very much.
My favorite books are the trilogy 'All for the game’.

These books are far from children's reading, but [my] Mom allows me read them.

Viktoriya, 17 y.o.
Tuymen

Some people think that I can transmit HIV just by looking at them.

People, HIV is not transmitted by eye contact!

Sonya, 17, y.o.
Samara

My grandmother would bring me a five-year-old home, and my parents were so drunk that they did not even recognize me.
I can’t call these people my parents.

Liza, 17 y.o.
Ekaterinburg

At support groups, I realized for the first time that I was an ordinary person.

It was an unusual feeling, but it was filled with freedom.

Melanie, 19 y.o.
Magadan

I want to have a family and have children, especially a daughter.
I want to have one wife for life. I'm a one-woman man. My biggest fear is to die alone.

Daniil, 18, y.o.
Tyumen

Why do many people think that sex is a crime. Everyone can get HIV during unprotected sexual intercourse.

Nastya, 19 y.o.,
Samara

The photo campaign about the lives of children and adolescents living with HIV in Russia was created by photographer Marina Nagorova and Svetlana Izambaeva’s Foundation "NOT AFRAIDS" with the support of the UNAIDS Regional Office for Eastern Europe and Central Asia and The Grand Dutchy of Luxembourg.

NOT AFRAIDS
Svetlana Izambaeva’s Foundation